Not Guilty
I long.
Sometimes
in the mirror,
I can see guilt in my eyes.
Only when I think of you.
I don’t have many regrets.
A few.
Countable.
You’re one of them.
Why?
I didn’t even do anything wrong.
Why does guilt eat me up?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I burn myself in my own fire?
Perhaps it was because I didn’t try.
Or because I pushed you away.
Somehow,
maybe,
but you’re stuck with me.
In my mind,
you live in my head.
Coffee reminds me of you.
Pink flowers,
energy drinks,
milkshakes,
tangerines,
and the colour blue.
And this reminds me of my guilt.
Was I inconsistent?
Did I confuse you?
I probably did.
I’m so sorry,
I say for the umpteenth time.
As if you can hear me somehow.
Not to get you back,
No.
I don’t deserve you.
I wish you well.
I apologise.
So that my guilt
can leave me in peace.
_
Gloria Nyagaka is Kenyan and just completed her Bachelor's degree in Geology.
She has been a writer for six years now. Her manuscript is the biggest project she’s ever done, a modern romantic thriller, is in the hands of her literary agent. It is a book that expresses great female characters and the strength of a woman at large. She mostly campaigns against women violence and for freedom for women to choose. She also focuses on how great women have changed the world, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and others. She is a swimmer, a swim coach, a Taekwondoka, hockey player, and a dancer.
After selling out its first show of 2026, Bitches in Stitches London returns to Hoxton Cabin on the 13th of March to celebrate International Women’s Month — with prizes from fellow feminist brands up for grabs.
Launched in London last year, the feminist stand-up collective champions inclusivity by creating safe, high-energy spaces for non-male comics and comedy lovers worldwide.
“We want to give as many femme comics the opportunity to perform in a space where everyone’s safe to show up as themselves and laugh their hearts out,” said founder Fran Ayala-Rock. “Bitches in Stitches believes that laughter should be used to connect people, not alienate them.”