The Joy of Doing Absolutely Nothing (And Why Women Need More of It)

There’s a special kind of bliss that comes from doing absolutely nothing - and yet, for so many women, it feels like a luxury we haven’t quite earned. We joke about it (“One day I’ll take a break!”). We fantasise about it (the mythical Sunday with no chores, no responsibilities, no people needing something), but what happens when the moment finally arrives? 

We get twitchy. Guilty. Restless. We tidy something. We open emails. We “just quickly” take the bins out.

We are, quite frankly, feral about rest.

But here’s the truth we’ve been conditioned to forget: doing nothing is a skill, a need, and a deeply feminist act.

And it’s time we reclaimed it.

Why Rest Feels Like Rebellion

Women have been raised to be productive, pleasing, and perpetually available. Many of us absorbed the idea that worthiness is tied to output: how clean the house is, how many tasks we ticked off, how well we anticipate other people’s needs. Rest isn’t just undervalued: it’s framed as indulgent.

This is especially true if you grew up being told to “keep busy,” “make yourself useful,” or “not be lazy”, messages almost always aimed at girls.

No wonder so many of us find it easier to burn out than to breathe out.

Doing nothing isn’t laziness; it’s a correction. A counter-culture. A refusal to live like a rechargeable appliance.

The Lost Art of Stillness

Stillness doesn’t come naturally when you’ve been conditioned to fill every moment. Many women report feeling physically uncomfortable at first: fidgeting, checking their phone, mentally writing tomorrow’s to-do list. But like any skill, stillness becomes easier with practice.

Here’s the thing: your mind knows how to rest. Your body craves it. What’s missing is permission.

Stillness offers:

• Mental decluttering

• A reset for the nervous system

• Space between stimulus and reaction

• A moment for your emotions to catch up

• A tiny pocket of self-connection you can’t get while multitasking

You don’t have to meditate (unless you want to). You don’t have to do breathwork (unless that helps). Stillness is as simple as sitting with a cup of tea and… nothing else. Not scrolling. Not planning. Not problem-solving.

Just being.

The Emotional Labour We Carry

It’s not just the physical busyness that wears women down - it’s the invisible workload.
We carry:

• The household mental load

• The emotional wellbeing of our families

• The scheduling, remembering, planning, anticipating, smoothing-over

• The social and relational admin

• The guilt when we drop a ball

No wonder actual rest feels impossible - our brains rarely clock off.

Doing nothing interrupts that pattern. It says:

• Not right now.

• This can wait.

• I matter too.

How Doing Nothing Makes Life Better

It sounds counterintuitive, but many women who start practising intentional rest find that doing nothing actually:

• Makes them more patient

• Improves creativity

• Helps them sleep better

• Reduces anxiety

• Makes everyday moments feel more spacious

• Boosts energy

Not because they’re suddenly more productive afterwards - but because their nervous system finally gets a chance to settle.

Imagine your mind as a glitter jar. When you keep shaking it - work, chores, childcare, stress, notifications - the glitter never settles. Doing nothing is how the water goes still again.

What “Doing Nothing” Can Look Like

Doing nothing isn’t about perfection. It’s not hours of serene calm with a scented candle (though that sounds delightful).

It can be:

• Staring out the window

• Sitting on the sofa with a blanket and absolutely no intentions

• Lying on the floor

• Sipping tea slowly

• Listening to yourself breathe

• Doing a task so gently it feels like nothing, like brushing your hair or folding warm laundry slowly

• Sitting outside

• Letting your brain drift

It doesn’t need to be aesthetic, productive, or Instagrammable. It just needs to be yours.

Guilt: The Uninvited Guest

Every woman who begins practising rest meets the same adversary: guilt.

It shows up immediately.

• Shouldn’t you be doing something?

• You’re wasting time.

• Look at the mess.

• You could be getting ahead.

But guilt isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong - it’s proof you’re doing something new.

When guilt knocks, try responding with curiosity instead of obedience:

• Why does rest feel wrong to me?

• Who taught me that productivity = value?

• Why do I think I need permission to slow down?

You don’t have to banish guilt to rest - just let it sit in the corner while you rest anyway.

Women Who Rest Change the World

Women at rest are women reclaiming themselves.

Women reclaiming themselves make different choices.

Different choices shift culture.

Rest is radical because a woman who listens to her own needs will never be as easy to control.

• She stops apologising.

• She stops overfunctioning.

• She stops prioritising everyone else’s comfort over her own wellbeing.

She becomes softer and stronger.

Start With Five Minutes

That’s it.

Five minutes of nothing.

• Set a timer.

• Put your phone in another room.

• Sit or lie down.

Notice how it feels.

• Let the discomfort pass through you.

• Let the stillness arrive.

• Let yourself be human - not a machine.

You deserve rest not as a reward, but as a birthright.

Here’s your permission slip.

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Hana Ames is a professional content writer with hundreds of pieces of content under her belt. She is a cat and dog mama, a feminist, and a musical theatre fan, who enjoys cooking, playing board games and drinking cocktails. She has been writing professionally since 2018 and has a degree in English. Her website is www.hrawriting.com and she is always interested in discussing exciting new projects to see how she can help your business grow. Catch her on Twitter @hrawriting, Instagram @hrawriting and Facebook: www.facebook.com/hrawriting