Wanted: Lonely, Hot Physician Who Drives a Ferrari (NOT)
Before retraining as a palliative care physician, my late husband had been a plastic surgeon for 30+ years. And while he did plenty of trauma, burns, and reconstructive surgery, he was exceptionally skilled at breast augmentation and body contouring surgery. There are women all over town with great breasts and beautiful bodies thanks to my husband and it remains a source of great pride for me.
A big part of my branding and online identity is as a widow of a certain age. I am not sure what that conjures for you, but I can tell you that a for a bunch of men, sock puppets, bots, scammers, and whatever else they are out there in internet land, it must mean I am desperate, pathetic, lonely, and apparently stupid. Almost daily I receive social media connection requests from poser widowers or divorcees with George-Clooney looks, who are standing next to expensive vehicles, wearing surgical scrubs and white coats. Sometimes we have one mutual “friend” or connection, always it is a woman. This modern fakery gives me worry for the women it targets and anger toward the men who are behind it. So here is my PSA: real physicians do not dress up in their scrubs and surgical skull cap and pose for photos while standing beside expensive automobiles.
Over the last 30 years, I have taught thousands of physicians, largely surgical specialists, the business side of their practice, which in the US is something that every physician needs to learn; I was married to now widowed by a physician. I can tell you in no uncertain terms, real physicians are able to answer the phone in the middle of the night without sounding like they were in a dead sleep. Real surgeons show up and bring their best to the operating room even at the most inopportune times. Real physicians appreciate even those parts of your body that make you feel self-conscious because they have inevitably seen worse many, many times.
Real doctors know that scrubs exist because of blood and puss and faeces, not for posing. Those, my dear friends, are actors or models. Not that there is anything wrong with actors (or models), I lived with one of them for five years but again, real actors don’t friend request women using role photos.
If, by chance, I am wrong about any of this and there is indeed a physician out there who is posting a photo of himself wearing scrubs, standing next to an exceedingly expensive car, you are not the guy for me or for most real women because, while you may be intelligent and skilled enough have earned a spot in a competitive residency, board certification and licensure, you have misread your target audience entirely.
To whomever is behind all those poser photos and “friend” requests, I say you are not real, but you are messing with real women and it pisses me off. To my sisterhood of wise, beautiful, compassionate, and sometimes vulnerable women, keep being real and be real careful.
