Overcoming fear and self-doubt

In 2020, I was teaching yoga at a beautiful retreat centre in Montenegro. This particular retreat centre was hosting sold out retreats every week. 

Speaking to the lead teacher, I asked if she had ever run her own retreats before, as a solo yoga teacher. 

She turned to me between rolling up mats and said “I’ve always wanted to, but I haven’t had the confidence to - it really scares me. What if the retreat doesn’t sell out?”

This gave me pause for thought. In my eyes, this teacher had an abundance of experience in running retreats. She did it every day, and people loved her style. Yet she still couldn’t translate that confidence into doing it solo. 

I’m sure it’s a situation that most of us have been in. 

Something we’re worried about dictates the way we do things. 

• “I’d love to run a marathon, but what if I never finish it? Won’t people think I’ve failed?”

• “I’d love to own my own business, but what if nobody buys anything from it! I need to learn more first.”

You can probably think of your own using this sentence structure:

I’d love to _______ (insert desire)  but _________(insert worry).

This type of thinking is what James Clear (Author of Atomic Habits) calls “Fear based decision making”. In essence, it’s when we let our fears decide our actions. It’s a problem that will likely affect all of us at some point in our lives. 

I myself struggle with this daily in my career as a Yoga Teacher. 

So what can we do about it? 

Failing = normal and GOOD

Normalise failure. 

Everybody fails at things! In fact, there is research to show that failing is good and healthy decisions. 

The Psychologist Carol Dwek famously called this a “Growth Mindset” where failure is essential to success. If we see failure as something we can learn from, it eliminates the fear of it and turns it into something useful. 

Nobody is really watching

If our self-doubt is about what other people think of us (and speaking from experience - it largely is), then the mindset that nobody is actually watching can help enormously. 

When we are faced with something daunting, the thought that nobody else is watching (or cares) can be really comforting. And it's been shown to be largely true, too! 

Everyone is usually so concerned with what they’re doing to take much notice of others. And even if they are, know that you are not for everyone and that is more than ok! 

Change your thinking with ‘yet’

Another powerful mindset tool to overcome self-doubt is with the 3-letter word ‘yet’. 

“I can’t run a marathon - yet!” 

“I can’t own a business - yet.” 

Our mind is so powerful. If we think we can’t do something, we probably won’t be able to do it. 

So, using the word ‘yet’ can help change our own internal vocabulary about what we can and can’t do. 

Taking no action is worse than failing

Keep in mind this idea that not doing what you want is worse than actually failing at it. 

For me, this is a motivational way to think, and encourages me to look past my own self-doubt and get into action.

Be kind to yourself

Finally, in order to truly overcome fear and self-doubt we need to be kind to ourselves.

Our internal dialogue is so important. Often we treat ourselves a lot worse than we would others. So take time to check in with how you speak to yourself, especially in moments of self-doubt. 

If the words or tone are harsh, then take a moment to notice, and step back from that way of thinking. Try to say something kind and encouraging to yourself!

And remember, this is all a practice meaning we may never truly overcome fear and self-doubt. 

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Tash is an international Yoga Teacher to all ages.

Find out more about her here.