A guide to toxic relationships, from those who’ve been there

It is no secret that relationships are a lot of work.

Relationships tend to have ups and downs, but a toxic one is entirely different than just going through hard times. A toxic relationship is constantly draining and distressing. Toxic partners often do not display support and continuously show competitiveness and disrespect. If you are in a toxic relationship, it is time to make a plan to leave.

What Is a Toxic Relationship?

At first, you may think you found the one after overlooking red flags. After pushing them aside repeatedly, you can feel that the negative moments start to outweigh the positive ones. Toxic relationships can begin to weigh on your health mentally, emotionally and even sometimes physically for one or both partners.

Sometimes it may be hard to decipher if your relationship is toxic. Remember, no one knows your relationship better than you do. Here are some signs of unhealthy relationships.

●      Constant unhappiness. It could affect your mental health if you feel negative emotions like sadness, anger and anxiety toward your relationship. You may feel your personality change or become more self-conscious with your partner.

●      Your family and friends dislike your partner. Sometimes you can get love blinded or manipulated in your relationship so much that you do not understand why everyone around you dislikes them. Pay close attention to what your loved ones tell you. They may be able to see it more clearly than you.

●      Abusive behavior. Toxic relationships and abuse can sometimes overlap. Partners who are aware of their actions want to maintain control, whether it is through emotional or physical abuse. These unwanted behaviors can come through other issues like addiction, which is linked to toxic communication styles and manipulation.

Why Leaving Is Hard

Leaving can be difficult after you spend lots of time and emotional labor trying to get the relationship to work. It is important to note that not all toxic relationships can be saved. You may still love and care about someone even though you are in a relationship that hurts you. Often the love you may be feeling is more like comfort and familiarity. Since our minds and bodies like familiar things, they can keep us in situations longer than we should be.

While there are ways to fix a toxic relationship, it is tough. If no progress is made, it is essential to recognize leaving it a better option. There are lots of advantages to ending a toxic relationship. Focus on new opportunities ahead and remember there are relationship partners that can fulfill your needs.

Recovering From Toxic Relationships

You may feel lost after leaving a toxic relationship. Even if you aren’t motivated, it is important to build yourself back up. Having support systems and learning to trust yourself and others again is essential to recovery. Here are some tips for recovering from toxic relationships.

1. Cut Contact

After your relationship has ended, cutting off contact is crucial. It can be tempting to reach out with a “harmless” text asking how they are and get sucked back in. Toxic people can be emotionally manipulative and lure you back into the relationship with false hopes.

Cutting contact means through every platform. Seeing your ex on social media will keep your memories fresh about them and continue to harm you. Find ways to avoid seeing them online and in person. This can set a boundary and allow you to stop thing about them altogether.

2. Focus on Self-Love

It takes time to heal, so give yourself time to recover and realize you are worthy of a healthy relationship. Redirect the energy you were into your relationship into yourself. You do not need a partner to feel special so get back to doing things you enjoy for yourself.

3. Feel Your Emotions

After a toxic relationship, you may be overwhelmed with emotions or not feel anything. Seek a trusted loved one to express your feelings and embrace the natural human emotions you feel. After all, you have gone through a difficult time.

The Bottom Line

Remember that you are making a good decision by ending a toxic relationship. If you need extra guidance, do not be afraid to reach out to a professional to guide you further.

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Beth, the Managing Editor and content manager at Body+Mind, is well-respected in the mental health, nutrition and fitness spaces. In her spare time, Beth enjoys cooking and going for runs with her dog.